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Strawberry sex

[ smells like children | pain ]
[ smells like children | sex ]
[ smells like children | love ]
[ smells like children | hate ]
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ya ya.. you know me. [25 Aug 2005|03:38pm]
[ mood | creative ]

alright so.. until I can make myself happy with this journal .. im switching back to my original one. theperfectsin .. so add me! <33 lovelovelove.

Bray

want my sex?

[24 Aug 2005|12:37pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

I'll pretend that I want you
For what is on the inside
But when I get inside,
I'll just want to get out
I'm your first and last deposit
Through sickness and in hell
I'll never promise you a garden
You'll just water me down
I can't believe that you are for real
But I don't care as long as you're mine //&



..I feel pretty today. worship me, please.

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tired. tired. awake. [20 Aug 2005|07:01pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

..I bought the cutest shirt today.. its pink, and it has three humming birds on it, two orange ones and a pink one and then it has a fairy in the right bottom corner. its so adorable. I think it is anyway.. we went to see my cousins apartment today, shes going to UF. ..its gorgeous, shes gorgeous and smart. She shouldn't have any problem. :) .. vjfnkd.. au revoir

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ron [18 Aug 2005|11:00am]
[ mood | happy ]

hes such a sweetheart.. I should have learned to keep my head up high either way, but he did surprise me..MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS IN ON IT. bastards. My mom kept telling me different things.. to make it sound like he really wasnt coming out..nice of them. rofl. ..but I was extreamly happy to see him. Tonight he is going to dinner with us, if he gets off work in time, anyway.



Jessie also comes back on saturday. yay. its been awful quiet without her around. Hope everything is going okay with her. I'm getting ready to go off to work.. one of longhorns really high distri' managers are going to be there.. yikes. :x .. after I think i'll get my hair cut.. it needs a trim .. then maybe color it again.


..by the way I named our kitten " Ron " .. rofl. ..from anchorman. xD .. hahaha. That's Justin and I's movie. yay. if you haven't seen it.. I urge you to go and see it. I love it. its.. dry humor, really.. but.. ILIKEITANYWAY. au revoir.

2 got caught| want my sex?

GOD [17 Aug 2005|08:56pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

I'm really really.. unsure right this moment, I don't know if its a good feeling or a really bad one.. see .. my other always sends me mixed signals.. I dont know when hes trying to surprise me.. or when hes just being mean. .. like tonight. I was talking to him at work and he told me his dad was working late, so he wouldn't be able to stop by and help him fix the car .. so I told him I'd go get him .. and hes like " no " .. I asked him if he didnt want to see me. He said he didn't. .. so I still figure im going to get him .. but he turns his phone off, im not going to waste the gas all the way out there if he really doesn't want to come over.. so..



..I don't know what I should be thinking..maybe hes going to surprise me and show up, maybe he really did get it fixed.. or maybe he didn't and when he turns his phone back on .. im going to be morally depressed..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK. DAMMIT. ..so my hands are kinda .. I dunno, their shaking.. and my head is starting to hurt. god dammit.. things dont work out for me. I swear I have the worst luck possible. really, I do. I'll update later and let everyone know how it goes.. not that anyone actually reads it and cares. I don't. I just like to write write. :D ..

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i am already a bad parent .. x3 [17 Aug 2005|03:01pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Good god. Got home from work today, made myself a wrap .. was enjoying reading the lives of my friends, when my mother shouts out that Trixie .. is a boy. I'm not going to go into detail about how she figured this out .. but. The poor cat.. the whole time we've been pampering it with girly names .. and acting as if, it was innocent. .. she-- he even has a girl collar. rofl. So now .. I must come up with a new name for him. poor poor fellow.



.. well as for future parenting.. I think i'll make sure the sex of my animal next time. -die- ..

3 got caught| want my sex?

..sigh&& [16 Aug 2005|01:36am]
[ mood | drained ]

..as much as people say time apart is good.. it can also be for the worse.. it is possible to miss someone.. too much. %%-- .. random[ness] .. im reading the book sybil .. and I <3 it. goodnight everyone. au revoir.

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my fish are staring at me;; [15 Aug 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Everything has been moved. ( well .. the' important stuff ) .. the house is a mess.. and I am lonely and cold. ..work has been a waste of my time.. two hours? .. bleh. Justin better get his ass somemore minutes.. or i'll have to fly over and beat him. little rat. ;D .. ---

.my body is over-tired. If that is possible. ..and I have so much dirty clothes.. just.. ah. everywhere. It's annoying.. yet, I dont feel the need to get up and actually do anything about it because I'm TIRED. I don't want to sleep. ..its the middle of day. Cat nap? .. nono. I already have trouble getting to sleep by 2 o'clock .. if I sleep now, then i'll never EVER sleep tonight. I think maybe later i'll begin painting once more, then again the place is full of shit, so .. I don't really need to be adding to it all. Don't care. I was finally convinced to make a Myspace, since everyone I know has one, it is quite interesting. Justin made one, because he loves me. :) I wish our cam' worked. I'd be taking pictures of the room .. my new kitten and the damn fish. iky. ..AND of course myself. I'm a picture whore. aNyway .. --

4 got caught| want my sex?

full of spite [13 Aug 2005|05:28pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

I dont know why .. but I thought today was going to be the ultimate definition of " crazy " .. but.. even though I'm morally unhappy.. things aren't going as bad as it would seem.. yet, one thing is really bothering me.. I was also expecting to see Justin today .. and found out it will have to be postponed until tomorrow.. which is fucken perfect.


I'll see him for half a day.. before he drives back .. because hes going back to his dick of a boss on Monday .. THIS SUCKS.. vnjfvdnk .. maybe I just think things are getting worse.. and they are.. getting better, im just making them seem worse. good god. I dunno.


WHYCANTALLOFTHISBEOVER. im tired of moving. I'm tired of being unhappy. " so do something about it " ..SHUTUP.. at the moment, nothing I do .. will help. so shh. anyway.. gonna get off.. walk around aimlessly.. blah. ;[


your pretty doll decay

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gah [13 Aug 2005|01:11am]
[ mood | crazy ]

I would just like to say ...




..that im in a good mood at the moment, talking to justin over the computer and watching him on cam. .. ;x ..weeee .. eh. tomorrow is going to be hell-- today, rather. bring it on. Bring it on.


your pretty doll decay

want my sex?

[12 Aug 2005|01:27pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

WHY is it so hard to just be loved?

5 got caught| want my sex?

cant breath [12 Aug 2005|12:24am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

..I really can't win. It must be one of those traits that just.. get passed down from mother to child. ..My mom seems to scare all her men away .. and now im starting to scare mine.. its like.. no male wants to be in the position .. where they feel needed..it hasen't even gotten to the psycho point, where girls just show up at their mans house if hes not answering the phone..

I just try to express my feelings and let him know, clue him in on how much I care about him ( because lets face it im not having the best time at the moment ) ..just so he knows how important he is to me.. and I get.. " your scaring me a little " .. wtf.. NJFDVNJFKNDK.. isn't that .. supposed to be a good thing?? I'm having trouble you know.. sniffing out the few people I know love me, since my so called step dad just decided to drop all of us and move on .. without even a second look .. and stupid me, thinking I found someone who does love me.. try to express it and BAM. ..

down the drain again. .. I should just stop trying. It really hurts me that he feels that way.. its not normally like that.. just.. right now, I could use the extra support, ya know? .. I don't see how thats asking alot.. but.. what would I know, right? ..fnkfjrke.. talked to ginge tonight.. I think she is already mad at me?? .. because when we started talking.. I wasn't like every other aol buddy .. and didn't IM her with " OMG NFKDKM -HUGHUG- " .. I apologize for not being so full of BUBBLES. eh. whatever. im tired. au revoir.

your pretty doll decay

want my sex?

this really does suck. [11 Aug 2005|02:44pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

..and the title says it all.. and yet, with all the love and comfort I.. have.. or am supposed to have, anyway.. I feel so alone.. its pretty clear that justin gets along just fine without me by his side.. like he has to take care of me and watch over me at all times.. the whole time I was staying with him .. we just laid around the house and I watched him play video games and sleep.. and the moment I leave.. it just seems like he goes out and does things.. but he needs " guy " time.. altho he lives with his best friend.. and as much as I say I don't, I could use a female friend.. yet I still don't see any reason to call any of them up.. its just not worth it.. I either want to be alone.. or with Justin .. I kinda wish it was the same way on the other side.. but it isn't.. of course he is normal.



..but I don't blame him for staying out there..if I could, i'd be out there.. forgetting about everything else..but it doesn't work that way.. alone I will stay.



your pretty doll decay

want my sex?

drum roll.. please [10 Aug 2005|11:59pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

er..i'm currently sitting in my old room.. in the back of my grandmothers house.. and once again life has taken a small tumble..it doesn't sound like much.. but it has really shaken me up..and im extremely unhappy right now..more then likely because I'm having to face the problem head on, no way around it.. and because Justin isn't here to pick me up if I happen to fall.

I know he cannot be with me always, and why would he want to at a time like this.. but, dammit.. I want him to be. Greedy or not. I'm not going to go into much detail.. mostly because I don't really want to put much thought into it, at this hour.. but.. once again a man has broken my mothers heart. ..its more serious then it sounds I assure you.. yet I still .. dont see a reason to go into it.

Its only been .. mm ..eleven hours since I last saw him .. and already its making me depressed not to see his face.. or be able to cuddle up beside him, even if he falls asleep before me..gah. this sucks. ..and I'll say it again .. I am extremely unhappy. ;.;..

your pretty doll decay

3 got caught| want my sex?

rawr [02 Aug 2005|03:19pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I don't ever write in this.. everything is still, not right.. but.. me and justin are closer then we've ever been .. so .. considering the way things are going at the moment, thats a huge plus.. but.. eh. Justin told me.. things will get better.. and.. I didn't want to.. smash what he was saying.. but.. people have been telling me that for years, I told him .. but he still insisted that things would be turning over a new leaf. ..I trust him..therefore.. things should.. we'll see. :) .. Jason goes away .. this month .. that makes me so upset.. and now Becky is moving to cali .. which is also just as depressing.. except.. jason is going across seas and shit.. so.. yea.. let the fireworks begin. I missed his going away party.. because we were having some major family problems.. I made sure I called jason and apologized a million times.. i'll make it up to him. anywho .. bfbkbjk.. im bored and getting ready to go to work.. so.. au revoir. <33



Bray

want my sex?

you don't know anything [18 Jul 2005|05:05pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

..rofl .. today has been such a fun day.. besides me not end up going to get my blood work done.. just found out my insurance dropped me.. so.. my pills and stuff for my upper abdominal pains ... are like..149$ that I don't have.. so eh.. anyway.. me and justin got up this morning and went to this buffet .. with all this weird food..like stuffed muscles and stuff.. I was high as a mother.. so .. we were having fun already.. but ..I ended up getting a water.. and later on when justin had finished his mountain dew.. he told her.. " I want another mountain dew and a pepsi " .. she brings him back a pepsi ... rofl .. so..then before we left.. as shes clearing our plates hes like.. " I'm still kind of thirsty can you .. " ..and the lady just walked away .. I thought I was going to die.. I was laughing so hard.. ..so .. she brought the check back with some fourtune cookies.. and hes like.. " I better have gotten a good one.. " .. his fortune said something about losers and failing.. or something.. it was SO funny.. and then mine said something like.. " dont assume you know anything about everything " .. or something like that .. she got us cookies from the " fuck you " .. basket.. stupid chink. .. ..::murr: .. anyway .. gotta fly. au revoir everyone. *muah*



Brayzuh

want my sex?

.. I was eaten [16 Jul 2005|01:43pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Sorry chaps.. didn't mean to just flutter away on you all .. but erm.. odd enough I have a life now.. and plus the computer isn't at our house so.. rawr. all I can say .. for those of you who talk to to me.. my screennames a dirty dream and brayzuh .. are gone.. I have " cant breath " ... so .. send me some mail. love ya gatos. <33



always

Bray

2 got caught| want my sex?

bam.. and nothing to say my sweets. [28 May 2005|03:18pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I love you all. I miss my becky. I'm going to the beach these next few days.. im so excited. yay. nice honey glazed tan. mrow.



..make the best of what you have.


brayzuh

5 got caught| want my sex?

staple your eyelids shut and leave me alone. [10 Nov 2004|11:12pm]
[ mood | content ]

When I said we, you know I meant me .. and when I said sweet, I meant dirty.

.. the select few that make me hot.

  • Justin
  • Becky
  • Jessie
  • Jason
  • Amanda

Friends only, bitches. :)

3 got caught| want my sex?

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